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It’s hard to deny that, as a society, there’s a lot to be examined about the ethics of our own relationships.In the United States, 45 to 55 percent of married women and 50 to 60 percent of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time during their relationship, according to a 2002 study published in .Two adults can agree to whatever terms of a relationship they like, but the hidden violation of the agreement is what makes an act a betrayal and an affair unethical.Thus, the real villain behind infidelity isn’t necessarily the affair itself, but the many secrets and deceptions built around the affair.In the book Deception may be the most damaging aspect of infidelity.Deception and lies shatter the reality of others, eroding their belief in the veracity of their perceptions and subjective experience.Given this discrepancy, it is important for every couple to address how they are going to approach the subject of fidelity and to examine the level of honesty and openness in their relationship.Earlier this week I got a call from a well-known women’s magazine and was asked to explain when it is okay for a woman to lie to her partner.

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Whatever one’s stance is on open versus closed relationships, the most painful aspect of infidelity is often the fact that someone is hiding something so significant from their partner.The betrayal of trust brought about by a partner’s secret involvement with another person leads to a shocking and painful realization on the part of the deceived party that the person he or she has been involved with has a secret life and that there is an aspect of his or her partner that he or she had no knowledge of.

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