Of course, at the heart of her case is a familiar and unfortunate premise: the idea that, by having sex, men are something.
Hookup culture: The end of civilization, or the biggest NBD ever? One guy has slept with five different women from Tinder—his “Tinderellas”—over the previous eight days, another with “30 to 40 women in the last year.” They can’t remember some of the girls’ names, and they brag about how little money and effort these “dates” cost them.
If you’ve read a single article about dating apps lately, you are well primed to believe it’s the former. But is this sampling of guys really representative of the majority of young people on Tinder?
According to a recent barrage of news stories, apps like Tinder have turned dating into a dehumanizing form of online shopping, catalyzing some sort of sexual Armageddon and the death of courtship itself. And is there any actual evidence to say that having a lot of sex through apps is, in fact, “bad”? Zhana Vrangalova, the renowned sex researcher who recently gave the TEDx talk “Is Casual Sex Bad for You? “There’s a trait known as sociosexual orientation, which measures how oriented a person is toward casual sex.
Casual sex has become too easy, the consensus seems to be, preventing young people from making meaningful connections and turning us into sex-crazed, diseased sociopaths speeding toward a broken, lonely future. Essentially, men are fuck machines with no feelings, and women are victims who are used for casual sex when all they really want is to settle down with a nice guy. ” To make her case, Sales tells a one-sided, myopic story through interviews she conducted with a selection of highly promiscuous and unsavory 20-something men.
Highly unrestricted men do tend to be more manipulative, aggressive, and psychopathic—aka, they’re more often jerks.
But that represents a modest minority of the people on Tinder.
(The majority of my friends found their partners on Tinder. “From the first swipe right, I knew it was right,” was literally a line from my friend’s vows.) I personally have slept with multiple guys from Tinder who are kind and respectful.But the 20-something women in Sales’s article have no such luck; they all have bad sex and feel manipulated, creating the impression that women are forced into a hookup culture they are not comfortable with and have no control over.