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Hit all of them and be forever named the “Sultan of Schlitterbahn.” The nation’s second-largest granite dome is one of the choicest spots to catch those ultra-sexy, big and bright Texas stars.

But that’s not even the coolest part about the massive pink batholith.

Since this state is seriously gigantic, we’re sure you have more to add, do so in the comments.

If there were a class called Spending Your Short Time On This Earth Wisely 101, the final would most certainly involve eating your way through Texas.

Whatever way you go, remember that bringing glass is for jerks.

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Consider this your official checklist of our state's iconic events, activities, sights, restaurants and bars.

Start by burger road-tripping to taste monsters like the Bowling Alley Burger at Swift’s Attic in Austin, Seabrook’s famous Bean Burger from Tookie’s, the Burger from Boozing while tubing down a river -- any river -- is a Texas rite of passage.

Hit the Guadalupe for a killer party scene, the Comal for a quick float with an urban feel, the Brazos for the scenery and the Possum Kingdom dam, and the spring-fed San Marcos and Frio to beat the heat.

Instinct may tell you not to trust oysters from what looks like a dive bar in the middle of Nowheresville. These wood-fire roasted oysters, which get a healthy dab of Parmesan-garlic butter that crisps and bubbles in all the right places, are a legit Gulf Coast staple. Also, do "The Wobble" at the self-proclaimed "World’s Largest Honky Tonk," and watch out for the horse poop on the streets. The mammoth natural pool was created when the dome over an underground river caved in. Drive anywhere along the Central and Eastern regions of the Lone Star State and you’ll see a giant smiling beaver beckoning you in like a siren song.

And where exactly do you fake this spring break, you ask? Listen to that call and enter a rest stop of Disneyland proportions, with cut-to-order beef jerky, fresh sandwiches, and homemade fudge bars, beaver paraphernalia, goodies like Beaver Nuggets and cheesy Beaver Nuggets, and nearly every kind of candy imaginable to get you through the rest of your road trip.With over 800,000 acres, Big Bend National Park is one of the largest national parks in the US.

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