She’s well educated, with a rapier wit and a willingness to use it. And yet, Friday still remains the most lonely night of the week when she sees all of the happy, laughing couples making plans, having romantic dinners and enjoying the sex while she’s at home with Fringe on the DVR and a bottle of Malbec breathing in the kitchen. Well, whenever she’s interested in a guy – a guy who’s worth her time, because what’s the point of having standards if she’s not going to stick to ‘em?
She’s done it all; dating sites, meeting guys at cons, the comic store, chatting up friends from class and at work.
Instead, make a point of being approachable and friendly.
Being told “You’re too intimidating” is incredibly aggravating to women.
After all, women are encouraged to be assertive, accomplished and independent; being told that they’re “intimidating” sounds like they’re being told to take all of that back and pretend to be something less than what they are. Are geek guys finding a woman’s accomplishments to be somehow threatening? Because “intimidating” is so subject to personal interpretation, I thought it was best to go to the source: geek guys.
If a woman keeps hearing from men that she’s “intimidating”, what is she supposed to do – besides start approaching men who have more self-confidence and fewer issues?
She’s geeky to her Joss-Whedon-loving core, a Whovian, Vertigo-reading, 3rd edition D&D (none of that 4th ed crap thank you very much) gamer with the con stories to prove it. While it’s true that many men will use it as a polite dodge to avoid saying “I’m not attracted to you”, when it comes up over and over again, it’s a sign that maybe there’s more to it.
This is not to say that incredibly beautiful women will only go for the model-handsome mind you – look at Christina Hendricks are the one making the first move, they may feel as though they will be in constant competition with other men: ones with better jobs, fatter wallets, movie-star smiles, and abs you could do laundry on.
The more beautiful or desirable a woman, the more she can have her pick of men.
Olivia Munn may be a geek , but how is average Joe Nerd supposed to compete with the celebrities she meets on a daily basis?
I conducted an informal (and utterly unscientific) poll on the Dr.
Nerd Love Facebook Page, trying to get a handle on what guys mean. So let’s take a look at what men say is intimidating… Men can find beauty intimidating; the more attractive the woman, the more advantages society gives her.
And don’t get me wrong, this isn’t someone looking for geeky attention or a propped up fantasy. But “intimidating” is almost uselessly vague, especially if they keeps coming up; it covers a multitude of meanings to the point that it means everything and nothing at once. She has a job she loves that pays good money, money that she likes to spend on her geeky hobbies and toys. – she hears the same thing over and over again: “You’re too intimidating…” Does this sound familiar to you? In fact, going by the number of emails I get from my readers, it’s most common issue that geek (or geek-curious) women encounter when they’re interested in dating.