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"This cow just died on my lawn," she said, out of nowhere. Appropriately, Parker has written a memoir that is unlike any other celebrity memoir.Which led to the subject of the window-smashing bird, and a sad story about the miniature dwarf goats she'd gotten on the advice of John Malkovich, one of which died of a brain tumor last year. Insofar as it is a memoir at all., out this month, is a series of letters to men Parker has encountered during her life.Funny, heartbreaking, and profound, they're little character sketches through which the author's personality gradually emerges, like a lost-wax casting. It's not that mysterious — it's not like I'm going to go on "He didn't say."So he can go to premieres or watch his girlfriend get groped by some other guy onscreen or spend eight hours in hair and makeup in the morning? and hang out at the Chateau Marmont — it sounds like that's the kind of actress he wants. People who work at Applebee's meet people who work at Applebee's, right?So there's this bird up at Mary-Louise Parker's farmhouse in upstate New York."And it keeps flying into the same fucking spot in the window," the actress says on a summer afternoon at her apartment in Brooklyn, planting her feet in the plush rug and gazing out the wall of windows, as though expecting the bird to be out there now, circling her penthouse aerie. She'll be listening to records or something and then—Kind of like Mary-Louise Parker herself."She has a lot on her mind," the actress said, in her deadpan, can't-quite-tell-if-it's-a-joke way. But it's the weirdness, running through her like an animated current, that really separates her from the pack: the distracted drawl, the crooked Mona Lisa smile that suggests her mind is elsewhere, maybe on something naughty.

'Get a guitar and learn how to make it talk.' I tend to meet people at work.But first of all, my main question is why the hell would he want to date an actress? I guess he has to hang out in those places where actresses go. Or the Four Seasons bar, although he might end up with a prostitute. It's very difficult to tell."I'm probably not the kind of actress the guy wants.

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