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One fascinating aspect of my work as a couples/ family therapist is that it gives me an intimate view into the current cultural dynamics of couples.

For the last twenty or so years, over half the couples I see contain the "nice guy" with his frustrated wife.

I was 55-years-old, and yet my Christian upbringing still had a stranglehold on my sexuality.

Recent conversations with Millennials and 30-somethings have made me feel even better about my age and lucky to have spent my Millennial dating years pre-internet, well before the current awfulness of online 'hooking-up'.

XINRAN XUE, a Chinese writer, describes visiting a peasant family in the Yimeng area of Shandong province. “We had scarcely sat down in the kitchen”, she writes (see article), “when we heard a moan of pain from the bedroom next door…The cries from the inner room grew louder—and abruptly stopped.

There was a low sob, and then a man's gruff voice said accusingly: ‘Useless thing!

' “Suddenly, I thought I heard a slight movement in the slops pail behind me,” Miss Xinran remembers.

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My husband and I have been together for over 20 years. We met in high school and watched each other graduate high school, college, and graduate school, find (and change) careers, and become parents.

We watched each other become adults and now we are watching each other age. I meet my friend Geraldine at a hip, local eatery in the heart of Abbot Kinney in Venice Beach.

Yom Kippur, the Jewish holiday of repentance, had barely been over for 14 hours and I was already fighting with my husband. Over our poached kale and egg salads with a side of chickpeas I notice my firecracker friend is uncharacteristically glum.

Has my Teflon-coated mind not retained a single shred of serenity? When Peter died, the only thing that kept me sane was writing about grief. I recognized that by spewing out my emotions with honesty, I was helping others which meant it was work that made me satisfied.

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8 Comments

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  2. eric   •  

    If we consider that the entire user’s data is under /home, I need to have a list of all the subfolders sorted by the size of the subfolders.

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