Your Relationship to "No": Dealing with Rejection Trusting someone new can be scary.We are all afraid of rejection, and all of us want to be liked and accepted.Upon further exploration, she realized that after one hour this man could not really know her and that most likely he had decided not to pursue the relationship based on reasons having more to do with him than with her.She accepted this notion and returned to her intention to be herself on her dates until she met the right man who would accept her and stay with her for a lifetime. Someone will say no to our invitation, to our request for a raise, or to our fundraiser. There are numerous reasons why people say no and most of the reasons are about them not you.It will allow you to move on without making up stories and sabotaging yourself.Exercise: Exploring Your Relationship to "No" Believe it or not, you can make an experience with rejection a productive one. Remember how it felt when he did not call to ask you out again? Did you complain to your friends that nothing works out and that no men like you? This is the protocol for what happens when a date does not lead to a second one. If you are not sure if you do this, ask your girlfriends. If you want to change this and save yourself much dating pain, you need to be honest about your usual reaction to no. I am great." "It sometimes takes a lot of no to get to the yes in life." Take a moment to come up with a new reaction to rejection that is healthy and rings true to you.Rarely do you hear a woman say, "Oh, he did not call again. Record it in your dating journal, and commit to saying this to yourself from now on, whenever a date does not work out.
If you can embrace this new context for rejection, it will free you to go into dating without taking no personally.You can be disappointed that you will not be able to continue to get to know a person, but you will not make it define something about you. We tend to turn the word no into an indictment of ourselves. Fill out the following sentences in your dating journal: My first reaction to hearing no is: When I hear no in dating, I think: (Examples might be "No men like me," "Ill be alone forever," or "It wasnt a good date.") The truth could be: (Examples might be "He is afraid of intimacy," "We arent a good match," or "He met someone else who is a better match.") If I could let go of my fear of the word no, it would free me to: Now that you've been honest about your usual response to being rejected on a date, you can choose to react differently from now on. Here are a few choices: "The right guy will never leave, so obviously it's not him." "His loss.