For a lot of people, it’s a seemingly never-ending dance of missed connections, nights you’ll never get back again and wondering just what’s wrong with you and why everybody else seems to have it so much easier. In fact, for many people, online dating is such a trial that they give up early on.
Even for people like me who the whole dance and the chase and the thrill of the new, there will be points when you really just want to take a step back from it for a while and catch your breath and let your ego recover from the beatings that tend to come with it. But just as when you’re trying to meet your future snugglebunny the old-fashioned way, it’s important to understand the potential headaches that come with those marathon OKCupid sessions.
Gay dating websites can be an awesome way to connect but can also be a real drag.
Messages go unanswered, hours seem wasted scrolling through endless profiles and something that’s supposed to hook you up leaves you feeling as isolated as ever.
We’ve reviewed the apps and websites, offered tips on creating your best profile and given you the stats, but we wanted to hear what people were saying about the experience.
I’m going to tell you something that you already know: dating is a frustrating process of trial and error.
Studies show that between 75% to 93% of communication is non-verbal.
When we meet somebody in person, we have hundreds of thousands of verbal and non-verbal clues to give us an intuitive grasp of who we’re talking to and whether or not we’re into them long before we go up and introduce ourselves.
We’re able to process all of these signals so rapidly that we’re often unaware of it; to our conscious mind, we’re just eliding over the ones who we read as “nope, not interested” while we narrow our focus on the people who do it for us.All of this subconscious presentation and filtering is lost in online dating; all we have are our words and our photos, so we have to consider how to craft as attractive a snapshot of ourselves as possible.Online dating takes a different attitude and skill-set than, say, making cold approaches at a bar or flirting with someone you met at a house party.To start with, you have to rethink the way that you present yourself.
Many of the things that drive people away from online dating can be headed off at the pass with some preparation.
The first step to overcoming your frustration with online dating is to adjust your mindset and expectations accordingly.