How to be positive when dating


A regular reader wrote me a scathing email about how she’s sick of my advice and that: Well, if you believe the above, then I can pretty much assure you that you’re not going to have much success in dating. It’s not that your experiences are not valid, it’s that it’s a glass half-empty way of looking at life. We were married in February – it’s going great and I tell people about you ALL of the time. Factor in that a former client just got engaged this week, and that I’ve got a 73-year-old client who has 17 emails in her inbox, and yeah, let’s just say I’ll be an optimist for the both of us!

Just because three straight men weren’t attracted to you doesn’t mean all men won’t be attracted to you. But once the process of shutting down begins, it’s a tough place to get out of.

And that person is no longer angry about the failures but just becomes apathetic.

50% of my job is dealing with negativity, apathy, and old baggage.

Evan, as a dating coach, how do you help motivate people to get past the cynicism and being jaded and get them back into the dating game?

I think there are people out there who genuninely want to find the one, but there was that one special person – after a whole string of others – with whom things didn’t work out and it kind of became the last straw.

But there are plenty of things that help you stay hopeful about dating, and they're not all mindless affirmations cooked up to make you feel better about yourself but not actually based in reality. I live in New York, where there are 150,000 more single women than there are single men.


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