The topic is a perennial favorite on Chinese forums and Weibo.These criticisms are 1) patronizing to the women who date foreign guys 2) slightly xenophobic and 3) not entirely unfounded.The parents get a say in the matter, if not out-right organize the whole relationship.
It’s true that some foreign guys are just looking for a casual sexual relationship. Yet, the thing that tends to be left out of this discussion in the Chinese blogosphere, is that the people themselves are only acting as agents for the cultures in which they grew up.The heart of this issue comes from the fact that dating, relationships and sex in Western countries is far more casual than in China, even in bigger, more metropolitan cities like Beijing and Shanghai.2) Family pressures If you’ve just stepped off the plane, it’s forgivable that you don’t know the cultural differences just yet.One of the biggest differences you’ll encounter is that parental pressure and lofty expectations play a much larger role in Chinese dating than they do in many Western countries.
When two Chinese go on a first date, especially dates organized by their mothers or a coven of plotting ayis, it can be a fairly serious affair, even with children/families/marriage discussed in some cases. However, at least in America, we will go on dates with people we hardly even know/like for something interesting to do, a chance at an actual future together, and—this is important—the potential for a mutually-agreed upon sexual relationship.
I’m not saying one is more preferable or better than the other, but when you are going on a date with a Chinese or foreign partner, you have to keep in mind how they might be viewing the encounter.