Dating and sex for nerds and nice guys article sur le speed dating

It does appear to me that many older and more bitter nerds do feel entitled to something.This sounds like a turn-off; but according to the seduction community and other repositories of male wisdom such as Richard Feynman, one of the main effective strategies for attracting women is learning to entitlement: To convey that you expect a woman to wish to have sex with you.It might also indicate that it was physically dangerous to refuse him sexually, and relatively socially safe to accede.In contrast, displaying feelings of entitlement would be a huge neon warning sign of low fitness. Suppose that middle-class American men are told, at an age too immature to examine parental commands critically: "In dealing with women, be X, Y, and Z" where X, Y, and Z are instructions like "Only express sexual interest in those women who you are confident are interested in you, prior to that, always be polite." And middle class American women are told, in a similar fashion, "In choosing a man, look for politeness and respectful non-sexual behavior." So far, so good. But when women grow up, they find that they aren’t attracted to the men they were told to look for.Nerds tend to be literal, to lie infrequently, to greatly resent being lied to, and to not adjust their behavior based on information their brains have not yet verbalized.Not only does this guy not have high status, his systems for judging his own status are broken. Association with him may be dangerous both physically and socially, prior to his impending demise. Maybe they believe, with reason even, that such men are ‘boys’, not ‘men’, and find this unattractive (ultimately because it was and still is evolutionarily unfit).Instead, most women spurn the timid advances made by the ‘nice guys’ they think they the traits X, Y, and Z that authority figures told him to display and that women claim to want – which does nothing to change the fact that feelings of thwarted entitlement for ANY reason are extremely unattractive.



I normally have fairly low regard for evolutionary psychology, especially post-hoc.

But here it seems to fit the bill really nicely; so I’m going to speculate a bit on what entitlement might signify in the environment of evolutionary adaptedness.

In Should Bad Boys Win, the question arose of whether the legendary "nice guys" who finish last, are actually nice.

Several commenters proposed that "nice guys" feel entitled to sex, and are liars.

Displaying feelings of sexual entitlement would have been, in a tribal setting, a strong signal of dominance and actual access to sex.

These traits would be associated with genes valuable in male offspring provided that either the father could be convinced to provide resources or the environment was such that they did not need to.


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    We also have some fresh perspectives on the matter by authors who aren’t experts but comedians. The fact that they understand human beings so well.

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    Gerald Goldsmith (Barbara Goldsmith's husband at the time), and reincarnated the magazine as a stand-alone glossy.

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