After spending a few days trying to adjust to the fact that the handsome co-leader of my small group was seven years my junior, I had just realized that he was actually eight years younger!
A question I receive often is, "How did you make the decision to date and marry a younger guy?
" While it's fairly common for a woman to marry an older man, the reverse isn't as much of a social norm. Travis and Leah, who have been married close to 20 years, met while attending the same six-week missions organization training.
"Telling our story never gets old," Leah says, smiling.
"It feels like it wasn't that long ago." When Leah, a national of Singapore, first got to know Travis, who was 10 years her junior, she was attracted to him, but "I tried to tell myself it wouldn't work because of the age difference.
I fought those affections like crazy." But as an undeniable connection formed, Leah finally made a bold request: "I told the Lord, unless I hear Travis say, 'The Lord has laid it on my heart that you are to be my wife,' I will not move forward." The night before the two gave a group presentation together, they met to pray.
"After we prayed, Travis took up the courage and said those exact words! "That's what I had been waiting for." Although many of the questions I receive are from women who are considering whether or not to date a younger man, many of the same principles apply to the decision-making process regardless of who's older.(For the sake of this article, we'll define an age difference as five years or more.) Here are four things to consider: 1. Leah says one of her biggest concerns when considering a man 10 years younger was whether he had the maturity to understand her needs and take care of her."I had surpassed him in some areas — I had been in the workforce for 12 years when we met and held leadership positions in church." I had similar concerns when I met Kevin.From our first conversation, I could tell he was very mature for his age. Once I learned his actual age, I was concerned that he might not be ready to settle down and have a family, when I definitely was.
I guess it was because I'd heard two or three stories of the woman being seven years older, so I'd sort of decided that was the outer limit of age difference acceptability. (And I would hit 31 a month before his next birthday.) Feeling defeated, I sat at the small wooden table in Starbucks, where I was meeting Kevin for the first time since my startling discovery. In case you're wondering, I married that guy eight months later.
I don't know why this one year made such a difference to me.