The story always begins the same way: "There's this guy... We connect in every way and he makes my heart flutter like a schoolgirl. From the beginning, he tells you what a great friend you are — and you how nice it is to finally meet someone he can talk to. In my 15 years of coaching, women have come to me over and over again with the same problem: Falling for a married man. But we've only gone on a couple of innocent dates..."Then, the guy makes his move.And it's really nice to be with a woman that does."He'll tell you this over a glass of Tempranillo as he looks longingly into your eyes, sweetly brushing a stray hair from your face. He'd rather have somebody that's a great mother than someone with great passion because "passion dies."He's convinced himself of this. For example: "Hey, let's have a business dinner," or "Hey, let's grab a drink after work." He'll flirt with you in ways that seem all so innocent.And it's sad because he's trying to convince himself he's in a relationship he wants. He's lonely, and he sees you as an opportunity for escape. But let me tell you something: this so called "happily married man" is not happy. He's going to send you little texts to tell you he read an article or saw something that reminded him of you, and it's all going to seem so "friendshipy" — almost like you met a good female friend.Now they find themselves "stuck" in an unfulfilling life, settling for less than what they know is possible. Maybe there is a tiny bit of loneliness and lack of fulfillment within you, and that's what is attracting men in similar situations.Look at the people who are coming into your life as signposts for what is going on inside of you.You deserve more than that; you're better than an escape route. They're only friends with women they're attracted to. But in reality, he's planting the seed for your future affair.He'll even tell his wife about the great friendship the two of you have.
If you find yourself excited by the overly friendly man in the wedding ring, consider whether you have some internal issues to work out. Preferably in the direction of available men not hampered down by preexisting relationships!Adultery sounds like such an old-fashioned word doesn't it? Despite divorce rates dropping, adultery rates are on the up.