We all want attention and reassurance, but we sometimes seek it in the wrong places. It could also stem from a place of insecurity and low self-esteem.” Leading someone on can be way too easy to do, especially if, like Emily, that person is part of your friend group.“I think there's probably a thrill for some women to be admired, liked and desired, even by guys/gals they are not interested in,” says Neely Steinberg, a dating coach and founder of The Love TREP. “The best way to go about dating is to get clear on why [you] are dating in the first place,” says Lesli Doares, Marriage Consultant, Coach and Licensed Marriage Family Therapist.So if you’re seeing someone simply because you’re feeling lonely or you enjoy the attention, you might need to question your motives.Spend more time with your friends instead, or join a new club—fewer feelings will be at stake.On the other hand, sometimes you actually really like someone, so you overlook his or her flaws in the hopes that you two can build something together.
We talked to experts and collegiettes to help you make sense of a bunch of sticky situations—and avoid them in the first place.
When you’ve been single for a while (and possibly watched too many rom coms), it’s totally normal to want a special someone in your life.
By now, you’ve probably realized that college dating—if we can even call it that—can be a total nightmare to navigate.
Between trying to figure out what you want and understanding how to get it, your love life is full of traps that are all too easy to fall into.
“I'd rely on the attention Michael gave me,” she says.
“One year I even made the huge mistake of making out with him on my birthday and on New Year’s Eve.” Emily and Michael have gone out a few times and are great friends, but she doesn’t want anything more—and he doesn’t know it.